This week I woke up with a panic attack. Not immediately. It started when I opened my phone and saw an email and my chest slowly tightened. My heart started beating faster and somehow bigger. Big enough that I was aware that it was there and that it was pumping blood and that the motion of pumping blood was that of expansion and contraction and that this was a big deal and life depended on it and this was my life happening in each pump and that made my mouth dry and I couldn’t talk but that didn’t matter because I didn’t have anything to say and maybe I should have something to say because I always seem to have something to say on WhatsApp status - on Instagram stories, on Twitter, saying thoughts, talking about work that I should be doing or want to be doing or dream about doing, and things and shit and what am I saying and how is it important and for what and why and how and what am I doing and fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
11: Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
11: Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
11: Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk
This week I woke up with a panic attack. Not immediately. It started when I opened my phone and saw an email and my chest slowly tightened. My heart started beating faster and somehow bigger. Big enough that I was aware that it was there and that it was pumping blood and that the motion of pumping blood was that of expansion and contraction and that this was a big deal and life depended on it and this was my life happening in each pump and that made my mouth dry and I couldn’t talk but that didn’t matter because I didn’t have anything to say and maybe I should have something to say because I always seem to have something to say on WhatsApp status - on Instagram stories, on Twitter, saying thoughts, talking about work that I should be doing or want to be doing or dream about doing, and things and shit and what am I saying and how is it important and for what and why and how and what am I doing and fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk